Thursday, 16 May 2013

The Mutated Phrase Feed

I am confused, a lot of the time. I hate it when people fudge common phrases, yet, I sort of love it. This may seem a horribly conflicted realm in which to dwell, but I relish every second of it.

Twitter has catalysed this joy for me recently, with a real-time stream of hideous, malformed phraseology at my fingertips. A constant, unending litany and pain and joy and suffering and glory. Mmmmm.

Below, I gather this unforgiving river of beautifully misshapen misery. Forgive those who quote the phrase to mock those who use it mistakenly. They know not what they do.

Wreck havoc - To destroy someone's attempts to induce havoc, ie to induce calm (See: Buddha)



Mute point - When someone is trying to make a point without really saying anything (See: Andrew Bolt)



Beyond the pail - Near a bucket (See: Me with a very bad hangover)



Baited breath - Fishy (See: Silvio Burlesconi)



For all intensive purposes - Someone who is purposefully intense. (See: Gordon Ramsay)



I could care less - A probabilistic assessment of the likelihood of being able to experience less caring (See: The British Royal Family)



Irregardless - Towards something being regardless. Sort of regardless, but not quite. (See: The Voice)



Things are getting worst - Everything is nearly as bad as it possibly can be. (See: The apocalypse)



I know, I know. I 'blog on wind energy'. I made this, to satisfy that immutable criterion:


4 comments:

  1. this is wonderful, and yet also incredibly depressing...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NO ONE NOTICED I MIS-TYPED A WORD AND NOW I HAVE UPDATED IT WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE MUAHAHAHA

      Delete
  2. irregardless of the mute point you're attempting to make here, my patience with corruptors of the English language has been pushed beyond the pail. But sadly, I know things will only get worst. I wait with baited breath for your next instalment

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...in which I'm sure you'll continue to wreck havoc on these ill-educated buffoons.

      Delete